Hi again
I don't have much to put here, but I need to start using this more. considering that most people probably don't actually read this, i can say whatever i want. unless you do, hi....
i've been fine, just kinda eh. i'm not entirely depressed, but i feel it coming. i've been trying to get a job, but everywhere says no. how hard is it to work minimum wage? impossible, i guess. honestly, it scares me. i need a job simply to get back on healthcare. i lost it with my dad moving away. it was already hard because i travelled to get my medication and now i cant. i'm already overseas. i dont think people realize how hard it is to live here with very little support. i only have my boyfriend, he keeps me happy. i think my dad only thinks i'm ok because my boyfriend can make sure i'm not dead.
i'm scared, doctors here are transphobic as fuck sometimes. i've been refused bloodtests in the past, i'm scared i cant afford a new specialist. i have enough medication to last until decemeber (?) i think. but i dont want to stop. i dont know what i will do if i stop. if you stop testosterone i hear you go through muscle atrophy, which doesn't help because i literally take pain medication already. WHICH I ALSO LOSE. i feel so fucked over man.
in less shitty news, i'm back on my dumbphone shenanigans. less dumb, i ususally use like a flip phone during uni. but its summer time and im not as busy, i got my old iphone 5 working really well. so i'm using that, i prefer it really. having this kinda keeps me off my phone. i grew up fairly offline anyways, so i struggle to both keep up and to put my phone down. the iphone 5 is like a nice little heater lol.
having the iphone 5 reminds me of when i was detained in highschool. god, i mustve been 16-17? i'm saying that like im 30, i'm only 20. anyways, i was left with my dads ex-wife for ~2 weeks? i wasn't legally allowed to be around her. anyways i decided to walk on the highway for like 6 hours to stay with a friend, instead i got 4 hours in because some lame asshole called the cops. it was fine, they gave me food and let me go to my friends.
in other shitty news, i got some nice dvds today, maybe if i figure out something to regularly display art/collection updates i could put it on the home page, kinda like the status cafe. i saw that there is a photo version but it wont approve me smh.
i got perfect blue, gummo, tokyo decadence. all pretty fucking awesome.
anyways here's my most recent review
